Thursday, July 26, 2018

My Win Against the Opioid Pandemic

 This afternoon I decided to touch base on a topic that's impacting most everyone in some way or another....drug addiction.  I started using pills in October of 2014. I was a waitress at Waffle House on 3rd shift and the only one working in the relationship. My husband literally just lost his mother and I was battling my own demons in life. To come home every morning and see the person that I love so much laying in the same spot on the bed that he was in when I left was heart wrenching. He would not eat, sleep, laugh, or have any fun in life. It was like he was just existing...not living.
 Meanwhile, I was introduced to "Roxys" at work by a "friend". I started snorting them off of the top of the hand dryer in the bathroom. It started with one pill throughout the night and gradually increased to 3-4 pills in a 10 hour period. After a while, the hype wore off and I was only getting a little energy from them here and there and still spending ALL of my tip money to buy 4 pills a night at $15.00 a pop. I was broke and things were worse than before. Something needed to change.
 A new cook started working with me at night in December of 2014. He would always go in the back room and shoot up into his arm and then would KILL it on the grill by himself on a Saturday night. I had to know what he was taking, a higher milligram something different? So I asked and he told me it was Opana (Oxymorphone) and asked me if I wanted to try it. I've ALWAYS been scared of needles but the need to get high one more time was too overwhelming...I gave in. He heated up a pill in a spoon and filled the syringe. I gave him my arm and closed my eyes. Immediately after a slight pinch, my whole body heated up and felt heavy. I was in Heaven and NOTHING mattered to me anymore. Husband sad? I was happy and he needed to be too. Customer upset? Go somewhere else. No money for bills? We'll figure it out later.
 So here I am, going to work at 8 PM every night, getting high all night, and then coming home and passing out until work again the next night. Joey NEVER knew anything about it. I was so good at keeping it hid. Since I didn't know where to get them personally, I had to rely on my "friends" at work to find them so if I was scheduled off that night, you better believe I would lie about being called in so I could go sit there and wait on someone to find me a pill. It's all I could think about and all I cared about.
  As time went on, we became more and more broke. The Opana were $60.00 per pill and if I had already spent all of my tip money on one, I would take money out of the register for more pills or give away free food to customers for a better tip or just write a fake ticket and pocket the money. I had to be high all the time or I was unhappy and hated everyone and everything. They took over my life in just 4 months.
 I was bored with life. I wanted something more...excitement and no responsibility. I met another new cook who quickly became my best friend. We would talk about anything and have fun together. I introduced him to my friend, "Opie, and he was in love. This worked out great for me. This guy was a cook who worked a lot of hours and didn't work on tips. We worked out a deal where most of the time, we would go in half. We could both get high for half the price.  When we were high, we didn't care and had so much, what I believed at the time, fun.
 One morning, as we're all going home, this cook says, "I just wanna go somewhere and never come back.". I was so excited that I took my husbands car home, left it in the driveway, and jumped in the car with this cook and left...never looking back. For the first few days, I was high from the time I woke up until I would eventually crash. I thought life was amazing. No problems, no worries, no responsibility...my whole life was dedicated to the little round white pill with a half moon on it.
  After a little while, I started noticing that even when I had literally just got high, I was sad all the time. I was listening to depressing music and reading books on how to deal with breakups. I was thinking about my husband all the time and wondering what he must be thinking. He didn't know where I was, why I left, who I was with, or what I was doing. It got to be too much so one morning, I had to go see him.
 I pulled up in the driveway and blow the horn. He comes out and the look on his face terrified me. I knew he was beyond angry so i stayed in the car. He came to the window and with tears in his eyes says " How can you do this to me?". To this day, when I think about that, it kills me. To know I hurt someone I love so much over drugs! I came inside and told him everything. He told me he had suspected, but wasn't sure what or to what extent. We talked and he said I could come back on the condition that I go to rehab. I agreed.
 Later that night, back at home, I started texting my dealer to come get me. I wanted away and wanted to get high. I was back to the same shit! My husband caught my MINUTES before I got in the car with the dealer. He ran them off and called the police. They never came back, called, or answered my calls again, but I had other options.
 The next day, I fought tooth and nail. I was NOT going to rehab. My husband gave in and decided to take me "away". He took me to a campground where I got NO cell service. I was out there with no one but my husband to beat an addiction cold turkey. We'd lost the trailer that we bought outright because I spent all of the lot rent on drugs, so now I was living at the campground and detoxing.
 Everyday was a new battle. If I wasn't sick, I was angry at the world. I wanted to leave so bad and go back to working at Waffle House and getting my drugs. I would start fights with my husband EVERY day hoping he would give up and take me back to town and leave me alone. Some nights, we would fight so bad, he would have to restrain me from hurting myself. When new people would come into the campground for the weekend, I would see an opportunity to get the things I wanted so bad, drugs. At this point, I was so desperate to get high, I would have taken anything to get high. A few times I would meet people that came out to the lake to get high and have a good time. I would luck out and they would share with me, but they would eventually leave and there I was, even angrier than before because I had just teased myself.
 As days went on, I had to find ways to deal with the hunger for my next high by myself. I found that getting up in the morning and jumping right into the lake for a swim helped a lot. My husband spent almost ALL of his time keeping occupied and making sure I was happy. We went into the campground in May and by November, I was ready to go back in civilization and live my life again.
 I disagree with addiction being a disease. Labeling addiction as a disease is not only enabling addicts, but it's giving us a way out and gives us an excuse to feel sorry for ourselves. I know some people say, you can't know unless you've been there. I was there. Before I put those pills into my body, I did not have an addiction. I am the one who created a habit that eventually became an addiction. To me, it feels so much better to be able to say I beat a problem I created and I choose to continue to beat that addiction every single day as to hide behind my addiction and call it a disease like I had no control over it. I am strong. I will not give up. I will continue to work hard everyday so that I can call this victory my own.

Friday, March 30, 2018

Time to Stop Breastfeeding with Little to NO Fuss

  Ok, so I breastfed my daughter, who is child number 3, from the time she was born until she was 13 months. I wanted to stop a little sooner, but the bond that grew between us was so strong and I was scared to lose it. At 13 months, I felt like I was ready to stop and she seemed a little more ready because she wasn't eating as much. The morning I stopped, I fed her and then we went to the doctor where she got a set of shots she had due. I didn't feed her anymore since that day and after 4 days, we are done completely. I was so scared to do this because the articles online about this are horrible. I am here to assure any mother who is ready to stop breastfeeding that it CAN be done cold turkey and it does NOT have to be this long horrible drawn out process. Here are a few tips for success and things that worked for me personally:


1) I found that spending even more time with my daughter helped to keep her mind off of wanting to feed. We would play with her blocks more or her dolls. I tried to steer clear of things where she was close to me like reading for a few days. 

2) I kept a sippy cup filled with water and every time Gracie would make her usual feeding noises, I would hand her the sippy or make reference to it constantly.

3) Cabbage leaves will save your life! They are a natural anti-inflammatory and when kept in the fridge, they really help through the engorging and pain. I placed one big cold leaf over each breast until the leaf got warm and then I tossed it. NOTE* The smell from these are horrible so be sure to wear a sports bra to keep some of it in.

4) Gracie is used to bathing with me so for the first 3-4 days, I let her bathe alone so she wouldn't see my chest and be reminded that she wanted to feed. I also did not undress in front of her. Anything I could do to keep her mind away from the boobie.

5) Since Gracie is no longer going to bed with a boobie and milk, I found something else easy to put her to bed. She has a nightly routine of dinner, play, milk, brush teeth, and then get into bed where I gently rock her and sing to her and DONE!

These are tips that I followed that worked for ME, I don't know if they will work for anyone else, but hopefully this article will find a desperate mommy ready to ween her baby. I went through such a hard time just making the decision, but it's really not too bad. Hard work, consistency, and love helped my 13 month old to ween in 4 days and she's just as happy as she's ever been!

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Febreze ONE Bamboo Freshener



I've always been such a fan of Febreze products. They all smell wonderful and work perfectly. I just recently received this bottle of Febreze ONE Bamboo freshener and I'm even more in love with this than any of the other products from the Febreze brand. This product has no dyes, areosols, or heavy perfumes. I can safely refresh my home with this product even with a home full of literally old dogs and babies. The nozzle is really handy as well with a really fine mist and great coverage. If you wanna try this new refreshing light scent in your home, click the link below to purchase it now on Amazon.

Febreze ONE Bamboo on Amazon



Thursday, January 25, 2018

Enjoyable Even For Single People

                                                   How to Be Married
                                                              By:
                                                         Jo Piazza

  Upon receiving this book, I was certain it was going to be another boring self help book, but I was surprised to find myself laughing and truly relating to Jo and some of the situations she found herself in. I really like how she takes stories from different cultures and makes them all into one journal/story. I've been married 5 years and we have children but I was still able to relate to this book and find it funny and insightful. This book would also make a GREAT gift to any newlywed or newly engaged couple without being the least bit insulting. If your interested in reading this, I've included the link to the book on Amazon available in Kindle, hardcover, paperback, and audio book. Thanks for reading!

Love, Beauty, & Planet


Thanks to Crowdtap, I've recently discovered a new beauty brand that I'm absolutely in LOVE with. It's called Love beauty and planet. This is an eco-friendly brand and even packages in 100% recycled bottles. The products that I received are natural, vegan, cruelty free, dye free, and they use essential oils for fragrance. I thought that this product would not work, BUT it works AMAZING! I got four products; Murumuru Butter and Rose shampoo and conditioner, juicy grapefruit dry shampoo, and Argan Oil and Lavender Smoothie Cream. The smells in each of these products really open up my senses and take me somewhere exotic! My favorite out of all of them would be the smoothie cream. These can be purchased at Target, Walgreens, Amazon, and other places I'm sure. I've included the link to all products by this brand so you can check them out at Walgreens because they have the bonus bucks on these items right now making them cheaper. Thank you for reading!!
Love, Beauty , and Planet Products @ Walgreens

Monday, January 1, 2018


                                                     Appalachian Recipes from the Past
                                                                      Created By:
                                                                    Telena Martin

  This is a page that I recently found on Facebook. This page, created by the above author, is dedicated to sharing recipes that we all know, remember, or have heard of. The author is of mixed heritage,( Irish, German, Native American, ) so there's a little of everything in this group. I've seen some wonderful pictures of real places I'm familiar with, learned some cool things about nature, and had the BEST buttermilk biscuits....recipe snagged from this group and they're just like Grandma used to make them. Anyone with any heritage can find some great ideas on this page as well as some TRUE southern comfort. Below is the link :)



Telena's Page

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Haunting The Deep

                                                           
                                                            Haunting The Deep
                                                                       By:
                                                               Adriana Mather


  So this book is a follow up to the New York Times bestseller "How to Hang a Witch", which I haven't read, but after finishing this one, I'm so looking forward to it. This book is about a girl named Samantha ( Sam ), who is having nightmares every night about the Titanic and walking along the ship with the other passengers. She soon finds that she's even seeing some of the things from her dreams in her everyday life. Sam, with the help of the cutie Elijah and the Descendants, has to find out who has put this evil curse on her and how to stop it ASAP. This book will keep you on the edge of your seat and will have you craving more even at the end. This is a great book and you can get it now on Amazon for Kindle or in hardcover by clicking the link below!

Buy Haunting The Deep NOW
                                     

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Revlon PhotoReady Face Products



So these are the new Revlon PhotoReady face products! I received this stuff FREE from Crowdtap to try and give my honest opinion. I like each one of the products differently for different reasons so I'm going to break it down :)

Revlon PhotoReady Insta-Filter Foundation - This foundation has great coverage and will take care of the freckles, blemishes, and red spots, but I HATE the sponge on top of the bottle. Yes it blends well and is soft, but I feel like most of the foundation is getting absorbed into the sponge making this foundation really expensive for my taste

Revlon PhotoReady Prep Set Refresh Mist - This mist is so refreshing and can be used to refresh makeup, prime your face before makeup, and set the makeup so it will last longer. The mist on this is so light with a very light scent but actually gets onto the skin and you can feel it. I use two circular motions on my face before and after applying makeup. The best thing about this stuff is that you can feel it but not see it :)

Revlon PhotoReady Color Correcting Pen - This pen has a tiny little brush that the liquid twists up into. DON"T BE SURPRISED, the liquid is green and goes on that color. This product blends into the skin really well and goes from green to a clay skin color and really does work for blemishes and under the eye area.

Revlon PhotoReady Galaxy Dream Palette - This palette is the best highlighting palette especially for women who love to do selfies...but don't forget to use the flash. Yes, this palette is great at doing a subtle highlight on your face but to really see it, I had to be outside in the sun or use the flash on my camera. This powder is holographic and really shows it's color when it catches light. Detailed instructions on how to apply are on the back of the palette under the label.

Below are links to purchase each product on Ulta and thank you for reading!

Insta-Filter Foundation

Galaxy Dream Palette

Color Correcting Pen

Refresh Mist


Sunday, November 12, 2017

Loreal Paris 14 Day Revitalift Challenge

My mother shared this with me and I saw it as a win win situation so I'm doing it. So Loreal Paris is giving away FREE Revitalift Triple Power Intensive Anti-Aging Day Cream Moisturizer. Each sheet contains enough cream to use morning and night for 14 days. I took a before picture when I started this challenge and am so excited to see if there's any change. So far I've been using this stuff morning and night for about 4 days and I can feel a difference and see a slight difference in my complexion. The moisturizer is white and creamy with a wonderful fresh scent. I have problems with oily skin and was worried that this might make me break out, but it hasn't so far. The cream is so silky. Every time I put it on, I can instantly see a healthy glow on my face. I love this so far and cannot wait to take my after picture so I can see the difference. I'll be updating this post in about 10 days with the after picture so please stay tuned if you want to see if this product TRULY works :)




https://www.lorealparisusa.com/products/skin-care/products/facial-moisturizers/revitalift-triple-power-intensive-anti-aging-day-cream-moisturizer.aspx?shade=triple-power-intensive-anti-aging-day-cream-moisturizer

My Win Against the Opioid Pandemic

 This afternoon I decided to touch base on a topic that's impacting most everyone in some way or another....drug addiction.  I started u...